2003-01-09 | 10:13 p.m.
PCOS
I just got done crying like a baby. I've been extra busy lately and it's starting to take it's toll.
I had a gyney hiney appointment yesterday and found out more information about the results of my blood test from earlier in the year. It all started over a year ago when my face broke out in these amazingly huge zits along my jaw line. I thought they would go away by themselves but they didn't. I saw a dermatoligist and from a blood test it was determined that I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. Apparently it's common. Severe acne is one of the symptoms. My LH (a hormone) is 5 times higher than my FSH (another hormone) and it is screwing everything up! Next Wednesday I get to have one of those horrible blood glucose tests that lasts for two hours. My doc suspects that is probably the reason why I'm having such a hard time losing weight. The results of the test will determine if she refers me to an endocrinologist. Then she also let me know that if I want to have children it will be hard to get pregnant. Something about the egg being destroyed ....everything got a little hazy after that. I saw her mouth moving but was lost in the whole infertility shock. I never really planned to have kids unless I met someone truly amazing - but i wanted it to be my decision - not some fucking hormone imbalance.
I registered for classes at a community college to take some of the prerequisites that are required for nursing school. I have 8 or 9 classes to take before June of 2004. I'm nervous about getting into nursing school. What if I spend all this time and money trying to get in and then not get accepted? What then? I want to be a nurse.
I filled out a loan application to refinance my house yesterday. Since I am going back to school (and need as much money as possible) I need to lower my monthly payments. Plus I need to get my house fixed up.
Work is ok. It's hard to work somewhere knowing that they are going to lay you off on May 1st. I used to work so much harder and I used to put in that extra effort but now there is no point. I hate working for the man.