2003-12-02 | 11:16 p.m.
Future History
Mood: thankful
I have a huge test tomorrow and I need to clear my brain a little b/c I'm having a hard time studying. I had a homework assignment the other day that is still on my mind. I had to write my future history.
Here is what we were instucted to do:
In the conduct of our daily lives, we are writing our personal histories. All too often we lose sight of this reality. All too often we look back on our histories as if we didn't have any say, or any responsibility for the direction our lives took. All too often we react to our daily lives rather than act upon them.We may well be better off if we were to write our history, today, as we see our life unfolding. What are we planning to become as a person, parent, worker, intimate partner?
I want you to write your personal future history. Write how you are going to conduct your daily life, from this point forward, so that you will become the person, parent, worker, intimate partner that you want to become.
Here is what I wrote:
Writing a personal history is the toughest assignment I�ve had to complete for this class. The assignment is forcing me to assess parts of my life I tend to ignore or assume that everything will work out. A friend of mine said to me once in high school when I had a problem, �Just ignore it, and maybe it will go away�. I find that I take that advice way too often in my life. I need to make some changes in my life, which I started preparing for this week.The first thing I always have to do is clean my house before I can clear things up in my head to get things straightened out. I know that may sound insane to some people but I get a lot of thinking and analyzing done while I�m cleaning.
I have taken a break from taking care of my body in the last couple of months. I don�t like what I see when I look in the mirror. The 20 pounds that I lost earlier in the year is now only 13 pounds and all the muscle I gained from exercise has turned into fat. I will start being conscious again of the types and amounts food I consume. This past summer I read my assignments for class at the gym while getting aerobic exercise. There is no reason why I cannot start doing that again. I need to get my body back to a healthier state.
I would like to become a mother someday. I am unfortunately one of the few women that has infertility issues. I can become pregnant but it will take a lot of work on my part to ensure that I can conceive someday. The main thing I need to do is to keep my weight down and maintain control over my body fat levels. My endocrinologist has told me that when I am ready he will work closely with me to get my hormone levels stable so that I can ovulate normally.
When I become a parent, it will be the happiest day of my life. I have reflected on my past and have seen how my sisters are raising their children. I will take the knowledge and experience I have gained from my mother and sisters to raise my own child.
When I was initially in school for my first under graduate degree, I was taking course work to become a doctor someday. I soon realized that I did not have the determination or the skills in the biological sciences to get into medical school. I chose to get a degree in public health instead. Working in public health does not have as much contact with people as I thought it would. My mother told me a couple of years ago that she remembers that the happiest I ever was at a job was when I was a cashier at Alfalfa�s and she was right. I too, like most students in this class intend to go to nursing school to be able to work with people and to also achieve my goal of working in the health care industry that I gave up on many years ago.
I am currently not married. I actively date and the more I do the closer I get to knowing what will work best for me in a relationship to ensure that it is life long. To be the person that is best and fair to a potential partner I continually need to make sure that I work on my emotional well-being. For me, a healthy mind is just as important (if not more) as having a healthy body.
This assignment has made me reflect more than I normally would for an assignment. Occasionally, it is important that I give myself an evaluation as to how I think things are going for me. Thank you for the assignment, it has reminded me of what is important and put me back on track.
Now I just need to stick to the plan!!! Argh! I don't know why I keep pondering my answer but it worries me that I won't have the opportunity to do everything I want to do in life. My future history can happen I just need to find a man that wants to make it all happen with me.