2003-12-23 | 2:43 a.m.
Little J on the 23rd
This is strange but the number 23 has always been a weird number for me. I started giving it credit in high school because of Psychic TV and the Psychic Youth (psychic 23). Then started to notice that the 23rd of the month just sucks.
Then it happened, I lost a dear friend. Little Jason killed himself on December 23rd 1994 which was also his 23rd birthday. He decided to use heroine. I love that kid. He was like a little brother to me and I'm still bummed that he passed. He was the smartest person I have ever met. He used to try to talk to me about fractals and shit(it was hard to keep up with the speed of his mind and thoughts). He had one semester left of college to get 2 diplomas. One in psychology and the other was in computer science. He was already doing contract computer science work and making 60K a year. The money didn't make him happy. Money never really makes anyone happy.
I'm filled with a ton of shoulda coulda wouldas about his death. I think I always knew it would happen. He was never really that happy and joining the Psychic Youth didn't help either. Fucking cult sons o' bitches! You never knew if any of us took all that destructive crap we did in high school seriously or if it was just a phase. I took it seriously but I also knew when to stop, Jason just didn't. I miss him and love him.
I haven't decided yet if I'm going to visit his grave when I wake up or not. I haven't been there for years and I normally feel better afterwards. My mood and time will tell.
I wish I could see him on his skateboard flipping off frat boys and screaming, "tiny dick! tiny dick!" again...
They never caught him...
He was great! I love the attitude!