15 April 2004 | 12:57 a.m.
The same, nothing new

I need a break. I have nothing to say. My life is my life. I have a few things going on right now that I need to work out. I don�t feel I can write it all down here and be honest about it. Honesty is a good thing and I don�t want to start writing shit just because I feel it�s needed.

Shit writing = read previous entry, now that was horrible!

The last entry I was happy about was the depressing entry I did about my Grandma after she passed a few weeks ago. I don�t feel particularly passionate about anything (except kickball) right now. My head is so cluttered I need to clean it up a bit and then I can maybe make sense of what I want to say. That�s all a maybe.

This is great. I'm not a very patient person and if you keep on holding information back, I will eventually pull out all my hair and run screaming down the street. I just want to know when the Pixies will be in Denver this fall. I received a 4ad email today that introduces the new Pixies site. I'm such a geek that I read the other day that they are playing a not-so-secret first gig tomorrow night in Minneapolis. It's old news but it is new information for me.

I know it's all hype and a 4ad ploy to get people excited for the tour and the "best of" CD release in May. It's working; I'm tired of waiting.

JonnyB - you're right! I probably only really started to like that guy when I found out he was moving. I know that I did have a slight crush on him beforehand (because he makes me laugh) but it wasn't anything I would normally think was that big of a deal. I have talked to him since that evening and I'm supposed to see him before he leaves on Saturday. I was a girl and over analyzed the situation. Argh, I hate it when I do that. He did ask me if I was dating anyone when I saw him a few nights ago and I think that just through me off a little. What does it mean when a guy asks you if you're seeing anyone? Hell, I don't know why and I probably never will.

Welcome to Colorado. Last week we had temperatures close to 80 (degrees Fahrenheit). It started raining a few days ago and it turned into snow last night. It's snowing right now with temperatures in the 20s. The weather here just boggles my mind sometime. At least it keeps me on my toes.

I went out with friends again tonight. All I have to say is that I smell like an ashtray. I've turned into one of THEM: an ex-smoker that is very critical of smokers and the stench. I love nicotine I just wish it didn't have to smell so raunchy.

Argh. I'm a little frustrated right now. I have no idea how that entry was duplicated; it doesn't show up on my edit/delete entries page.

I feel like I've been dropped-kicked and dragged behind a truck. I just found out that a friend of mine is moving before the end of the month. Like an idiot, I never really knew that I had any feelings towards him. Until now.

He's the first nice guy that I've had any interest in a long time. It seems, I fall quite easily for the assholes and I do something about it when I meet them. The thing is, he would never be an asshole to me. He respects me. I'm a little pissed off at myself for not living in the moment and asking him out when I had the chance.

I feel like I've been dropped-kicked and dragged behind a truck. I just found out that a friend of mine is moving before the end of the month. Like an idiot, I never really knew that I had any feelings towards him. Until now.

He's the first nice guy that I've had any interest in a long time. It seems, I fall quite easily for the assholes and I do something about it when I meet them. The thing is, he would never be an asshole to me. He respects me. I'm a little pissed off at myself for not living in the moment and asking him out when I had the chance.

While running errands today I walked by a make-up counter in a department store. It was obvious that I was not there to buy cosmetics but the salesperson, Venice, stopped me anyway. She asked if I wanted her to figure out my foundation color.

Why not? I stopped, sat in the chair and let her match one of the bottles to the color of my face. Venice has a pretty neat background. She's Jamaican and ended up in Denver via London. Anyway, She matched my color and then put make-up on the rest of my face. I didn't ask her to. I wasn't in a hurry, she was bored and stopped me. I was doing her a favor by helping her day go by faster. The store was barren; I was one of maybe ten customers shopping.

When she was done she said, "So can I package all that up for you?"

I replied, "No, I wasn't shopping for cosmetics today."

Venice then said, "Well, that's what normally happens after I spend all that time doing a person's make-up."

Holy crap! She was trying to guilt me into buying! Bite me. I fucked off...

last entry / next entry